so here i meet this new guy who i am happy with
sorry we pda.
my best friend.. or i mean now ex-best friend… goes crazy on me

saying how i can’t trust you anymore
our friendship can never be the same anymore
pretty much giving me the ultimatum saying as long i am with him we’re no longer friends.

really.

i am disappointed in u just as much as u are disappointed in me.

our friendship will never be the same because u said that
i will not trust u anymore because u said that
u didn’t loose me before but now since u said that ..u will.

i learn from my last relationship, don’t say things u don’t want to happen 
since u said it…u’re giving me these ideas.
well i’ll grant nothing will ever be the same. with anyone.  

i am not choosing one over another.
i’m tired of this shit. 

i choose no one.
don’t worry i’ll stay out of everyone life.
 

i miss you.

staypozitive:

To girls:

• be the girl your boyfriend never thought he’d get.
• Be the keeper of his heart and never let him go.

To guys:

• be the guy your girlfriend always fantasized and dreamed about.
• Treat her right, don’t be afraid to show her how you feel.

To both:

• Trust each other.
• Put in equal effort.

What to do?
Should we stop this casual open relationship?
not that i really want to…


Two things I think he can say:
Sure 
or
Why? 

At this rate i feel like i will receiving the first response

If he ask why …what should I say?

I feel like you’re not interested anymore
and that you are bored of this
I feel insignificant to you
I can’t entertain you when you are bored…

I guess that is how I think you feel now from the lack of conversation
then again we don’t have much to talk about do we?.. 

Yesterday I remember I woke from my dream
I remember us five use to be good friends who enjoyed orchestra very much.
What happened? We all changed that is what happened.  

The was more to that dream but I don’t remember. I would have remember yesterday if I wrote it down.

To stop with our relationship or not?

I still like him very much but I feel like he is losing interest in me. We don’t talk as much and when we do he does not really respond that much. As if he has nothing to say what I have told him. Everything I told is useless, stupid, and boring and does not seem to deserve a response. We don’t talk as much… I guess there is not much to say? Is he waiting for me to pull the plug for this relationship? 

I’m not sure what he wants anymore and I’m not sure if he wants me anymore.
I’m not sure what to do or how to talk to him about this. I don’t want to come off as thinking too much. I really want to know what does he think of this now or does he think anything of it anymore…

I’m not really looking for anyone else anyway…Maybe I’ll just wait for him to pull the plug. 

Panic?

Now that I think about it…I actually panic all the time. Why? Because I think of the most random things and most of the time my thoughts are all jumbled inside my head. Confusing me. That is why I have started to write more on here. This tumblr is for me to sorts my head out and organize my thoughts. I feel more comfortable writing stuff on here than my other tumblr.  

The Last Week of Break.

The last week of break is always the busiest. Trying to prepare for school, buy any supplies/ food, and any last minute meet up with certain people. Last week of break is bittersweet. Nice that you are returning to school seeing certain friends and become productive lifestyle. Bad when the workload starts piling up and professor are giving out ridiculous exams and we have to start worrying about our grades. Speaking of which I should be looking for internship. 

Oh the busy life. Life is life. Being busy is better than being bored right?  

I have a love hate relationship with distance. Unfortunately distance has become an issue recently. Whether with friendships or relationship. This time it is about friendship. We’re all growing up and people are almost finish with school and found jobs.

I’m very happy for the upperclassmen. I’m surprise they included me in pretty much almost all their gathering. Then again I was not as close to my grade. Pretty much most of high school I spent my time with the ‘08. Now they are going to graduate college after this semester and they are entering into the professional world. After this semester it will be harder for everyone to meet up. Two of the ‘08 are will pretty much moving out of this state and off to another state because of their job. It is wonderful how they have a job right after college in this economy. Just a little sad how people don’t have ‘break’ anymore. I’m pretty sure they’re not going to have a set break like the one we have in college. I wonder when will we all be able to meet up again as whole.
 
Going to miss them a lot when they move away. These ’08s are my role model and because of them I want to work harder and not waste my time now. I thank them for keeping in touch and including me into their gatherings. 

Last year, there was a time where I just want to sleep. I was really tired and I want ignore everything that was going around me. To be exact I did not want to wake up from my sleep. I did not want to wake up to the problems and responsibilities that I had to face. 
Before there was someone to wake up to. Knowing that when you wake up there is someone who wants to talk to you. That someone was the reason why I keep waking and looking forward to speak to him. After we stopped talking I felt so angry, sad, and disappointed. I felt used and abandoned. To this day I still felt like I was used and was abandoned by him. It still hurts.

In the end I miss waking up to that special someone who wants to talk to me, respond to me, talk about their day to me, and say something cute to me. I just want someone to care about me. 

I just don’t want to wake up and feel disappointed. Not that I’m disappointed anymore since I’m not expecting that someone to talk to me anymore. 
It’s true by not having expectation for someone will yourself some disappointment.

But seriously I miss having someone to wake to and knowing they want to talk to me and tell me how much they miss me.